The Foundation of Parenting
Welcome to ‘Parenting Rocks’. In coming to this blog, we imagine that you are searching for information that will make parenting or relationships easier. Maybe you are looking for a magic cure that, when you apply it, everything will turn out perfectly.
I’m here to tell you that there is no magic cure, but it isn’t as hard as some professionals might say. It is a journey taken one step at time. With some planning it can be the best fun you will have in your life. You might say “Why should we listen to you? What makes your information as good as what we hear from the professionals?”
Because the principles that we will share, work. The proof is that David and I, in November of 2005, will celebrate 18 years of marriage. You might say “So? I know others with marriages longer than that”. Ah, but our marriage consists of more than two people co-habitating together with the occasional sex on the side.Our marriage is deeper and more meaningful (because we have more history together), but it’s more similar to young courting couples than to some other ‘old married couples’.
Cast your mind back, for a moment, to your courting days when love was new. You stole hugs and kisses when you could. You talked for hours on any topic. Remember how it felt to have someone love you and belong to you? This is how our marriage is today, 18 years later. We still steal kisses and hugs when the children are not looking, or hug in the elevator. We walk past each other at home and pinch one another’s butt. In other words, we sensually play throughout the day. There is not one day that goes by when we don’t talk on the phone at least once. This is our credibility, this is why we believe that we have something to offer to anyone who wants a joyful, intimate marriage and the kind of parenting that we are enjoying.
Try cuddling while watching TV (or better still, turn it off and just cuddle) - anything and anywhere you can delicately touch each other helps build your connection. This tells your partner that you want them, that you enjoy their company and that they make you feel good. I dare you to try it and see the response. Start slowly if you’re not used to it, but START.
I have heard often the comment that the spark has gone out of someone’s marriage. My suggestion for bringing back the spark is to “play” by touching one another all day outside the bedroom and see what happens to your marriage. I believe having fun together is the answer to regaining the spark. Try it, you may be very surprised.
I’m here to tell you that there is no magic cure, but it isn’t as hard as some professionals might say. It is a journey taken one step at time. With some planning it can be the best fun you will have in your life. You might say “Why should we listen to you? What makes your information as good as what we hear from the professionals?”
Because the principles that we will share, work. The proof is that David and I, in November of 2005, will celebrate 18 years of marriage. You might say “So? I know others with marriages longer than that”. Ah, but our marriage consists of more than two people co-habitating together with the occasional sex on the side.Our marriage is deeper and more meaningful (because we have more history together), but it’s more similar to young courting couples than to some other ‘old married couples’.
Cast your mind back, for a moment, to your courting days when love was new. You stole hugs and kisses when you could. You talked for hours on any topic. Remember how it felt to have someone love you and belong to you? This is how our marriage is today, 18 years later. We still steal kisses and hugs when the children are not looking, or hug in the elevator. We walk past each other at home and pinch one another’s butt. In other words, we sensually play throughout the day. There is not one day that goes by when we don’t talk on the phone at least once. This is our credibility, this is why we believe that we have something to offer to anyone who wants a joyful, intimate marriage and the kind of parenting that we are enjoying.
Try cuddling while watching TV (or better still, turn it off and just cuddle) - anything and anywhere you can delicately touch each other helps build your connection. This tells your partner that you want them, that you enjoy their company and that they make you feel good. I dare you to try it and see the response. Start slowly if you’re not used to it, but START.
I have heard often the comment that the spark has gone out of someone’s marriage. My suggestion for bringing back the spark is to “play” by touching one another all day outside the bedroom and see what happens to your marriage. I believe having fun together is the answer to regaining the spark. Try it, you may be very surprised.
posted by SuZe at 8:52 PM
4 Comments:
Suzie did a great job of talking both about what we think we might be able to offer in this blog and about what we see as one of the key issues in parenting. I just wanted to offer a few complementary ideas here:
1. Some of our credibility to talk about this stuff, as Sue said, comes from the fact that it works for us. We're together, we're happy, our kids are happy (and although we're lucky and blessed, we didn't start out with uniquely easy conditions or anything). But there are lots of happy marriages, and some of them are 3 times longer than ours or more, so that's only part of our qualifications (and perhaps we need to be talking more to happy older couples about their secrets! We also have some professional background that's relevant: Sue has a degree in psychology and I'm a professor of education, so we have background knowledge about how people think, learn and grow that we also apply to thinking about this stuff.
2. We really do see a strong marriage as the basis for a strong family. We recognise that people parent as single parents, and do a great job, but I'm sure most of them would also acknowledge that it'd be easier with a loving, supportive partner. The best thing you can do for your kids is to love your spouse, and let the kids know that you do - it's the basis of their personal security. We'll talk more in future about not letting the kids get between you in the marriage, but making the marriage the centre of the family.
3. Sue's post concentrated on physical displays of affection to your spouse, but there are two more implicit issues there that we'll probably talk about later: physical displays of affection for your kids, and verbal affection for everyone in the family!
(We'll tend to both post and both follow up with comments, and we hope you'll comment too)
Congrats on the new blog. Dawn and I are celebrating our 18th anniversary on July 19th. At times in the past it has been trying but for the most part I would say that things are getting better by the year. We are able to understand certain needs/wants/expectations better than before and I see us coming closer in that respect.
We also have different parenting techniques than you do but that may be due to different backgrounds. Dawn and I are/were more "opposites attract". We are also more conservative than you and Sue. Does that make us better or you better parents? Nope. Just different in the way we bring up the family.
I'm not so sure about the education part of the story. An education does not make a person a better family person. Does what a person take at university or a technical school make them a worse or better family person? That I think comes from how you are brought up and your experiences. Some emulate their parents, some don't because they don't want to bring up their kids the way they were brought up. I believe every parents wish it to help their kids become better than themselves in education, career, and marriage.
I look forward to your posts and hope this blog does what you want it to do. Best wishes!!
Hi SuZe,
One of the categories in my article directory is Home & Family ... while searching for blogs on parenting, I discovered " The Foundation of Parenting ".
We all know that the best content on the internet is created by bloggers ... unbiased first hand knowledge, experiences and opinions.
As someone who may be interested in parenting, I believe you will find our Home & Family section to be of interest. I am always looking for bloggers to contribute articles and help me to build the directory to everyone's benefit. As a contributor, you get the recognition of having your article published and seen by thousands of web users. The pride and satisfaction of seeing your article published in a prestige directory is hard to beat.
Not all of us are gifted with the ability to write to professional standards of grammatical correctness ... as a result, many bloggers don't bother to have their articles published.
I welcome an informal style of writing that matches your personality and fits in with your article content. I also appreciate articles that are uniquely based on your individual experiences, talents and ideas. All I request is that your content does not contain vulgar language, incite hatred or generally offensive.
Without any obligation ... please come over and have a look at my blog articles directory for yourself.
Best Regards
Emily
Hi SuZe,
Your enlightment on The Foundation of Parenting makes me smile :-)
It has changed my thinking, which is a good input for my search on the lastest info on parenting tips .
Thanks!!
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